Ix Nay on Whoops Aye or Adding Up the Cost of Decisions and Making Change

I hate making mistakes.

I like to trust in my own ability to make decisions -- and that would be the right decisions -- so that when I make a decision that turns out badly [read:  not as I would like it to], I get upset with myself.  Add to this the fact that I tend to be hard on and expect a lot from myself and you have the recipe for a pretty glum day, or week, or more... depending on how far reaching the effects are of that decision.

Recently, I have been dealing with such a situation:  decisions made that felt amazingly right which are now being questioned.  And, there's nothing and noone to blame other than myself:  afterall, I made the decision, I had those right feelings -- right?

Of course, I've been going over every detail in my mind:  the hows, whats and whys that fell into place and I understand.  But that doesn't make the disappointment go away.

And then, Dr. Sarah said something to me that caused me to look at this in a very different way.  Decisions are not frozen in time.  We make choices and then time moves on and situations change.  We cannot experience, if we do not have triumphs and mishaps.  We ourselves cannot change, move and grow if we do not allow ourselves experience. 

For me, although simple, this was a revelation; one that made me feel a whole lot better about my decision and myself.  It's okay to change; it's okay to make a mistake.  It doesn't mean you can't trust your decisions or yourself; it means that you have the courage to allow yourself to grow.