Spring is finally here! Grass is green, buds are popping on the trees, the ice and snow have finally melted, flowers are blooming, golf courses are preening their fairways and greens and the weekly beer blast has begun anew!
For those of you who don't know what a "beer blast" is or how I can
justify writing about it as a subject for a weekly outdoor column,
well, I'll try to satisfy you.
The first part is easy, golf is obviously played outdoors. Enough justification right there, right? NO! Okay, I'll go further. Like hunting, a big part of golf is about companionship with those you are playing with and also about lying, or maybe bragging is a better word.... no, lying is better.
The companionship part is the easiest to explain. You're outdoors usually with three other guys walking in the sunshine (not always) having a good time making mature insightful comments about your companion's performance on his last stroke. Comments like "holy c%@p, what was that? Did you really mean to do that?" Or maybe something with a little more family emotions tied in like "are you kidding me, my grandmother could hit it further than that." Or maybe something warm and fuzzy like "did your wife do something to you before you came out here cause you ain't usually this bad."
Please understand all of you who participate in this wonderful sport that I have to take into consideration that this is a family publication and therefore I am limited by good taste and legal restrictions on what I try to project what is really said out there. But I think those who don't play the game will get the point.
There are three real differences between hunting and golf. One, while hunting, all comments are usually held in check until after the hunt is over since being quiet is such an important part of the sport. Two, you always have to remember that your companion is carrying a gun. And three, in hunting, there is no beer! (That almost sounds like a line from a song!)
So, what exactly is a "beer blast?" In my case, it is a weekly gathering of guys at Brookhaven Golf Course for a nine hole game that includes a five dollar deposit into a seasonal kitty that pays for prizes and an annual cook-out near the end of the season. And, in the good judgment of the management, includes a weekly free beer in the greens fee.
Golf is such an enjoyable and relaxing game. Being outdoors smelling the fresh flowers while taking in the sights and sounds of the surrounding woods, walking around with my friends discussing world and family affairs, making new friends and having the opportunity to say whatever comes to mind and not being restricted to "politically correct" comments about their performance and their level of intelligence or, for that matter, their heritage. Good food and the unrestrained release of bodily functions that result from the partaking thereof, I mean, come on, who can turn down a good hot dog and fries? Prizes to reward and recognize our individual achievements and skill level, and, of course free beer! What the heck more could a man ask for?
If only there was some way of bottling all of this and bringing it home to our spouses or significant others so they too could learn and understand the pleasures and values of our activities. For some unknown, and quite frankly very difficult to understand, reason, my wife would rather stay at home cooped up inside in an artificially controlled environment be it cool, warm or dry, and spend time all by herself working on some goofy hobby while listening to music. How in the world can you compare the two? I just don't get it! I guess I have to fall back to what my dear old Mom use to tell me as she tried to guide me through my early years. When I would come home all depressed because of something my girlfriend of the moment did, Mom would say "Son, women are just different!"
Amen Mama!
See you outdoors!
You can reach Dick at rtotino@nycap.rr.com
The first part is easy, golf is obviously played outdoors. Enough justification right there, right? NO! Okay, I'll go further. Like hunting, a big part of golf is about companionship with those you are playing with and also about lying, or maybe bragging is a better word.... no, lying is better.
The companionship part is the easiest to explain. You're outdoors usually with three other guys walking in the sunshine (not always) having a good time making mature insightful comments about your companion's performance on his last stroke. Comments like "holy c%@p, what was that? Did you really mean to do that?" Or maybe something with a little more family emotions tied in like "are you kidding me, my grandmother could hit it further than that." Or maybe something warm and fuzzy like "did your wife do something to you before you came out here cause you ain't usually this bad."
Please understand all of you who participate in this wonderful sport that I have to take into consideration that this is a family publication and therefore I am limited by good taste and legal restrictions on what I try to project what is really said out there. But I think those who don't play the game will get the point.
There are three real differences between hunting and golf. One, while hunting, all comments are usually held in check until after the hunt is over since being quiet is such an important part of the sport. Two, you always have to remember that your companion is carrying a gun. And three, in hunting, there is no beer! (That almost sounds like a line from a song!)
So, what exactly is a "beer blast?" In my case, it is a weekly gathering of guys at Brookhaven Golf Course for a nine hole game that includes a five dollar deposit into a seasonal kitty that pays for prizes and an annual cook-out near the end of the season. And, in the good judgment of the management, includes a weekly free beer in the greens fee.
Golf is such an enjoyable and relaxing game. Being outdoors smelling the fresh flowers while taking in the sights and sounds of the surrounding woods, walking around with my friends discussing world and family affairs, making new friends and having the opportunity to say whatever comes to mind and not being restricted to "politically correct" comments about their performance and their level of intelligence or, for that matter, their heritage. Good food and the unrestrained release of bodily functions that result from the partaking thereof, I mean, come on, who can turn down a good hot dog and fries? Prizes to reward and recognize our individual achievements and skill level, and, of course free beer! What the heck more could a man ask for?
If only there was some way of bottling all of this and bringing it home to our spouses or significant others so they too could learn and understand the pleasures and values of our activities. For some unknown, and quite frankly very difficult to understand, reason, my wife would rather stay at home cooped up inside in an artificially controlled environment be it cool, warm or dry, and spend time all by herself working on some goofy hobby while listening to music. How in the world can you compare the two? I just don't get it! I guess I have to fall back to what my dear old Mom use to tell me as she tried to guide me through my early years. When I would come home all depressed because of something my girlfriend of the moment did, Mom would say "Son, women are just different!"
Amen Mama!
See you outdoors!
You can reach Dick at rtotino@nycap.rr.com
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