On a daily basis I hold many titles: publisher, son, friend, boss,
instructor... but the two I value most are husband and dad. For this
editorial I want to focus on my role as DAD.
Dads come in all shapes and sizes, all walks of life and all nationalities, but the one thing we all have in common is the tremendous responsibility we have been given to raise a child and, positively or negatively, help shape a life.
If you asked me seven years ago what I thought about starting a family and raising a son, I could have gone either way. It sounded like a nice idea, but I was also perfectly happy with my place in life. Little did I know that a tiny bundle of joy would profoundly change my entire being. On a sunny morning in May 2004, a young boy entered this world and opened my heart to a new level of love. He can bring a smile to my face, a tear to my eye and an ache to my heart with the simplest of gestures. He has added unimaginable quality to my life and helped to make our house a home. We now have a tank filled with goldfish, toy trucks under our feet, a sandbox in the back yard and one crazy dog (but that is a topic for another editorial).
I have to say that being "Dad" is the most fulfilling and rewarding experience I can imagine. But one thing I have found is that being a "good" father means making tough decisions and spending as much time educating as we do playing. One of my main responsibilities to my son and society is to teach him how to be a responsible man, a productive member of society, and a father himself one day.
The most important lesson that I have learned is that children are like sponges. They see and hear everything and they imitate our actions and behaviors. If I want my son to behave a certain way, I had better darned well behave that way myself.
One idea that has paid off in spades for me is to spend time learning parenting techniques from the experts. I decided some time ago, after some constructive input from my wife, that if I can spend hours practicing Jiu-Jitsu and hours learning new skills for my job, I can certainly spend hours learning how to be a better parent. I have to admit that I thought I knew quite a bit about parenting; however, I quickly realized that I had a lot to learn. Over the years I have found endless supplies of wonderful ideas, rewarding exercises and interesting schools of thought.
Some of the more useful "Dad" lessons I have learned are:
- Get down and play with your child, whether it is matchbox cars, dolls or baseball. Don't just watch them, play with them; this is a wonderful opportunity to teach life lessons.
- Avoid free access to the internet, movies or television; they are a minefield filled with objectionable material and bad messages.
- Teach your boys to respect women, and your girls to respect themselves. Virtue is much easier to hold on to than to reclaim.
- Every child should know how to swim. It doesn't matter if you live at the ocean or in the Adirondacks, you could always fall in a lake.
- Present a unified front with your wife; don't let them divide and conquer.
- Whenever possible eat dinner as a family. It provides stability and is a wonderful time to share life lessons.
And last but not least...
- Pick a night and do family movie or family game night. Don't let "things" get in the way of family night; time is too short and these traditions are worth their weight in gold.
I am happy to say that every month I am still learning, and every month I am still making mistakes, but the journey, the experiences and the memories will last a lifetime.
And to all of the future parents, I wish you luck as you prepare for the greatest adventure of your life.
If you asked me seven years ago what I thought about starting a family and raising a son, I could have gone either way. It sounded like a nice idea, but I was also perfectly happy with my place in life. Little did I know that a tiny bundle of joy would profoundly change my entire being. On a sunny morning in May 2004, a young boy entered this world and opened my heart to a new level of love. He can bring a smile to my face, a tear to my eye and an ache to my heart with the simplest of gestures. He has added unimaginable quality to my life and helped to make our house a home. We now have a tank filled with goldfish, toy trucks under our feet, a sandbox in the back yard and one crazy dog (but that is a topic for another editorial).
I have to say that being "Dad" is the most fulfilling and rewarding experience I can imagine. But one thing I have found is that being a "good" father means making tough decisions and spending as much time educating as we do playing. One of my main responsibilities to my son and society is to teach him how to be a responsible man, a productive member of society, and a father himself one day.
The most important lesson that I have learned is that children are like sponges. They see and hear everything and they imitate our actions and behaviors. If I want my son to behave a certain way, I had better darned well behave that way myself.
One idea that has paid off in spades for me is to spend time learning parenting techniques from the experts. I decided some time ago, after some constructive input from my wife, that if I can spend hours practicing Jiu-Jitsu and hours learning new skills for my job, I can certainly spend hours learning how to be a better parent. I have to admit that I thought I knew quite a bit about parenting; however, I quickly realized that I had a lot to learn. Over the years I have found endless supplies of wonderful ideas, rewarding exercises and interesting schools of thought.
Some of the more useful "Dad" lessons I have learned are:
- Get down and play with your child, whether it is matchbox cars, dolls or baseball. Don't just watch them, play with them; this is a wonderful opportunity to teach life lessons.
- Avoid free access to the internet, movies or television; they are a minefield filled with objectionable material and bad messages.
- Teach your boys to respect women, and your girls to respect themselves. Virtue is much easier to hold on to than to reclaim.
- Every child should know how to swim. It doesn't matter if you live at the ocean or in the Adirondacks, you could always fall in a lake.
- Present a unified front with your wife; don't let them divide and conquer.
- Whenever possible eat dinner as a family. It provides stability and is a wonderful time to share life lessons.
And last but not least...
- Pick a night and do family movie or family game night. Don't let "things" get in the way of family night; time is too short and these traditions are worth their weight in gold.
I am happy to say that every month I am still learning, and every month I am still making mistakes, but the journey, the experiences and the memories will last a lifetime.
And to all of the future parents, I wish you luck as you prepare for the greatest adventure of your life.
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