When Thomas was a baby and I was a brand-new mom, and totally desperate
for sleep, I quickly found that he fell asleep easiest and stayed
asleep longest in my arms or on my chest.
This was a huge revelation for me as, before I actually had babies, I was firmly in the babies-sleep-in-their-beds-no-excuses camp. (After having babies, I moved to the whatever-works camp!)
After those initial few weeks, when I felt more myself, I did start working on transitioning Thomas to his cradle next to our bed as much as possible. It was a slow process, but I kept with it, trying to be both flexible (when it just wasn't working, I'd back off a little) and consistent (always staying focused on the goal of cradle-sleeping, and so always working toward that goal, even in little ways). Eventually he became a champion nighttime sleeper, even when still waking up to breastfeed -- he'd nurse and then go right back to sleep in his bed. It was the first example I had of how consistency and patience can yield real results in parenthood, even if it takes awhile.
But I found that even the "while" that it might take to see results seemed to generally fall into a two-week period, which seems like forever when you're in the middle of it! But in the grand scheme of things, what's two weeks?
When I was pregnant with Gabe, and took stock of my mothering techniques to see if anything needed to change in preparation for a second little one in the house, a huge glaring issue that needed to be addressed was the fact that, while Thomas was an expert nighttime sleeper, I hadn't stopped rocking him to sleep for his daytime naps. There had never seemed to be a real need -- while good nighttime sleeping habits were, in my opinion, important to cultivate for a lifetime of good health for Thomas, daytime naps were a temporary thing that would eventually phase out, and besides -- I liked my daytime naps with Thomas and, especially in my first trimester of pregnancy with Gabe, I needed that sleep! But such a practice wouldn't fly with another little one, I was sure, and so once I entered my second trimester, and was feeling more up to the challenge, I decided to work on helping Thomas go down for his nap on his own.
Based on past experience, I figured I should plan for two weeks of sleepless days (for both of us), and I mentally prepared myself to just deal with it. What's two weeks, after all?
Indeed, by the two-week mark, Thomas was going down for his nap without me rocking him to sleep. It wasn't easy -- Thomas did not take kindly to my new plan, and for almost the first week, there was quite a lot of give-and-take: me trying first to rock him until he was almost asleep and then putting him down; me sitting in the chair next to his crib so he could see I wasn't abandoning him; me setting a certain time limit in my mind for how long I'd try to enforce this new plan on any given afternoon before calling it quits for that day and trying again the next day. But that was the key -- trying again the next day -- and it eventually worked.
I was recently sharing with a friend our "potty woes" with our current potty trainer, and asking about her experience (she has three children older than Gabe). "I would just hunker down and plan for two weeks of hell," she said, when recalling the process by which her older children eventually became potty proficient. Of course! Why hadn't I thought of that? We'd been striking out right and left with our potty attempts, but in hindsight it may have been more me than Gabe -- after one or two accidents in a day, I'd throw in the towel in exasperation and go back to diapers for a couple more days, then try again. But the everyday consistency had been missing on my end, and after being reminded of the "two weeks of hell" I decided it was definitely worth a try. What's two weeks, after all?
My mom has told me so many times that with me -- her first child -- she consistently found that it took her two weeks, as a mom, to catch up with new things I was doing and new phases I'd moved into. "I was always two weeks behind," she's said so many times. What is it about two weeks? Is there some part of human nature caught up in a two-week adjustment period, when something new is happening? Is that why even employers usually require two-weeks' notice when an employee decides to leave his or her job?
It's currently only five days into our two-week potty program, so I can't say for sure if two weeks is the key here, but we've already seen better results than all of our other efforts. And I'm making mental lists of other things we need to work on too, like zippering zippers and tying shoelaces, all of which would probably benefit from the two-week blitz. What's two weeks, after all?
Kate Towne Sherwin is a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) living in Saratoga Springs with her husband, Steve, and sons Thomas (5), Gabriel (3), and John Dominic (1); they expect their fourth child in February 2010. She can be reached at sksherwin@hotmail.com.
After those initial few weeks, when I felt more myself, I did start working on transitioning Thomas to his cradle next to our bed as much as possible. It was a slow process, but I kept with it, trying to be both flexible (when it just wasn't working, I'd back off a little) and consistent (always staying focused on the goal of cradle-sleeping, and so always working toward that goal, even in little ways). Eventually he became a champion nighttime sleeper, even when still waking up to breastfeed -- he'd nurse and then go right back to sleep in his bed. It was the first example I had of how consistency and patience can yield real results in parenthood, even if it takes awhile.
But I found that even the "while" that it might take to see results seemed to generally fall into a two-week period, which seems like forever when you're in the middle of it! But in the grand scheme of things, what's two weeks?
When I was pregnant with Gabe, and took stock of my mothering techniques to see if anything needed to change in preparation for a second little one in the house, a huge glaring issue that needed to be addressed was the fact that, while Thomas was an expert nighttime sleeper, I hadn't stopped rocking him to sleep for his daytime naps. There had never seemed to be a real need -- while good nighttime sleeping habits were, in my opinion, important to cultivate for a lifetime of good health for Thomas, daytime naps were a temporary thing that would eventually phase out, and besides -- I liked my daytime naps with Thomas and, especially in my first trimester of pregnancy with Gabe, I needed that sleep! But such a practice wouldn't fly with another little one, I was sure, and so once I entered my second trimester, and was feeling more up to the challenge, I decided to work on helping Thomas go down for his nap on his own.
Based on past experience, I figured I should plan for two weeks of sleepless days (for both of us), and I mentally prepared myself to just deal with it. What's two weeks, after all?
Indeed, by the two-week mark, Thomas was going down for his nap without me rocking him to sleep. It wasn't easy -- Thomas did not take kindly to my new plan, and for almost the first week, there was quite a lot of give-and-take: me trying first to rock him until he was almost asleep and then putting him down; me sitting in the chair next to his crib so he could see I wasn't abandoning him; me setting a certain time limit in my mind for how long I'd try to enforce this new plan on any given afternoon before calling it quits for that day and trying again the next day. But that was the key -- trying again the next day -- and it eventually worked.
I was recently sharing with a friend our "potty woes" with our current potty trainer, and asking about her experience (she has three children older than Gabe). "I would just hunker down and plan for two weeks of hell," she said, when recalling the process by which her older children eventually became potty proficient. Of course! Why hadn't I thought of that? We'd been striking out right and left with our potty attempts, but in hindsight it may have been more me than Gabe -- after one or two accidents in a day, I'd throw in the towel in exasperation and go back to diapers for a couple more days, then try again. But the everyday consistency had been missing on my end, and after being reminded of the "two weeks of hell" I decided it was definitely worth a try. What's two weeks, after all?
My mom has told me so many times that with me -- her first child -- she consistently found that it took her two weeks, as a mom, to catch up with new things I was doing and new phases I'd moved into. "I was always two weeks behind," she's said so many times. What is it about two weeks? Is there some part of human nature caught up in a two-week adjustment period, when something new is happening? Is that why even employers usually require two-weeks' notice when an employee decides to leave his or her job?
It's currently only five days into our two-week potty program, so I can't say for sure if two weeks is the key here, but we've already seen better results than all of our other efforts. And I'm making mental lists of other things we need to work on too, like zippering zippers and tying shoelaces, all of which would probably benefit from the two-week blitz. What's two weeks, after all?
Kate Towne Sherwin is a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) living in Saratoga Springs with her husband, Steve, and sons Thomas (5), Gabriel (3), and John Dominic (1); they expect their fourth child in February 2010. She can be reached at sksherwin@hotmail.com.
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